The Feminine Critique Podcast

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Biblical dinosaurs, Hollywood autism, product placement, and Pretty Little Liars all figure quite prominently in the latest episode of The Feminine Critique, where Christine and Emily head to the arcade to tackle 1989’s Nintendo commer-er, Fred Savage vehicle The Wizard and 2010’s controversial (to some) Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Things get testy (not really) as the ladies don’t always see eye to eye when it comes to (cough cough) modern hipsters. But hey, strap on a Power Glove, have a Clark Bar and forget your worries! Weigh in with your opinions (especially if they support Emily, who’s writing these shownotes) over at our Facebook group, tweet your agreement @femininepodcast, and/or email us atthefemininecritique@yahoo.com. We promise to curb our gambling addiction and obey our vegan diets if you do.

Fair is foul and foul is.. feminine? It is this week, as Christine and Emily dig deep into the cauldron/deep fryer to cover two tales of sound and fury signifying Macbeth. First up is 2001’s black comedy, Scotland, PA, filled with lots of tans, bell bottoms, and babaganush. Next, we suit up in clunky armor/freewheeling nudity for Roman Polanski’s The Tragedy of Macbeth from 1971. Somewhere in between, we argue the merits of The Muppets, the decision to watch Red Lights, the inexplicable watchability of Pretty Little Liars, the quality/lack thereof in Rollerball, and The Avengers. Lots of stuff about The Avengers. Be sure to preorder the latest issue Paracinema and grab some back issues before they’re gone over at paracinema.net. Come chat with us on Twitter @femininepodcast, email at thefemininecritique@yahoo.com, or for the most satisfaction, join our Facebook group over at…um, searching “The Feminine Critique” in that rectangular blank box. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. We have more confidence in you than Lady Macbeth in her doomed hubby. Make us proud.

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You better hope that Newbury Comics t-shirt is made of kevlar, because this week, we’ve got a LOT of heat to get off our shockingly clothed chests (because if you’ve watched the movies we have over the last few weeks, you might be forgiven for thinking females don’t actually wear clothing). What starts as a somewhat agitated discussion of Adam Green’s Hatchet series turns into a whole lot of complicated questions on the modern slasher,  independent genre scene, problematic representations of women, necessity or fossil of theatrical horror, and AJ Bowen’s facial hair. It’s somewhat intense, but good ultimately triumphs over evil. Spoiler alert to our episode: you really should bypass both films and just seek out The Abominable Dr. Phibes. We only say this because we care. To help answer the many questions we posed this week, weigh in at our Facebook group or tweet us @femininepodcast. And seriously, watch Dr. Phibes. Two out of two podcast hostesses agree it’s the mostest.

Break out the pasties and bedazzle that fringe! It’s time to visit everybody’s favorite city of sex and scandal, viva Las Vegas as Christine and Emily sit down—IN THE SAME ROOM—to sorta kinda do a commentaryish recording to the tune of Paul Verhoeven’s thrustacular camp classic, Showgirls. The audio is probably about as skilled as Elizabeth Berkley performing Lady Macbeth, but I’m sure it will go down smoothly enough with some brown rice and vegetables. So crack open a strangely sized bag of chips, slip into your slinky Ver-sehs, and prepare a cold bowl of chest-loving ice cubes to play along. When in doubt (or if you can’t hear us), always remember to thrust it, thrust it, and THRUST IT.

From giant velvet ‘n feather fashion statements to Christine’s press patch tucked in tightly, we’ve got an episode BRIMMING (get it?) with fantastic headgear. First, our own Scoop McMakepeace gives us a full report on Austin’s South by Southwest (SXSW) Festival, including coverage on 20 new films AND Matthew McConaughey’s mom. Emily, on the other hand, just has a lot to say about Beastmaster and tiramisu. Following that comes a slightly spoilery discussion of 1997’s The Wings of the Dove, starring a before-she-was-Tim-Burton’d Helena Bonham Carter in a WHOLE LOT OF FABULOUS HATS. Up next is 2007’s Fassbenderlicious Angel, an extremely unique little film that warrants LOTS of talking. It also has great hats. Both are on Instant Watch, so play along at home and share your thoughts/love of Beastmaster on our Facebook page, tweet us @femininepodcast, or email us in the hopes that we remember to check it at thefemininecritique@yahoo.com. Hugs and hats to all!

Turn down the lights and settle in for a spooooooooooky edition of The Feminine Critique, one complete with cat jump scares, vengeful swimming pools, and finger-eating windows. This week, Christine and Emily dare each other to spend two hours in a haunted house movie each has never seen. Up first is the sickeningly well-cast Burnt Offerings, filled with Oliver Reed’s sweat, Burgess Meredith’s voice, Karen Black’s wonky eyes, and Bette Davis’ Bette Davis eyes. The ladies follow it up with an even sweatier Christian Bale—er, James Brolin, a more pigtailed Margot Kidder, and a whole lot of Long Island with the original Amityville Horror. One of the ladies might be tipsy. The other might be vegetarian. All is still being investigated, just like the mystery of just what happened in that lovely low-priced New York home. Share your theories by tweeting us @femininepodcast and support Emily’s new mission to convince the world that Christian Bale is actually the replacement clone for James Brolin by agreeing on our Facebook page. You know it’s true.

Turn down the lights and settle in for a spooooooooooky edition of The Feminine Critique, one complete with cat jump scares, vengeful swimming pools, and finger-eating windows. This week, Christine and Emily dare each other to spend two hours in a haunted house movie each has never seen. Up first is the sickeningly well-cast Burnt Offerings, filled with Oliver Reed’s sweat, Burgess Meredith’s voice, Karen Black’s wonky eyes, and Bette Davis’ Bette Davis eyes. The ladies follow it up with an even sweatier Christian Bale—er, James Brolin, a more pigtailed Margot Kidder, and a whole lot of Long Island with the original Amityville Horror. One of the ladies might be tipsy. The other might be vegetarian. All is still being investigated, just like the mystery of just what happened in that lovely low-priced New York home. Share your theories by tweeting us @femininepodcast and support Emily’s new mission to convince the world that Christian Bale is actually the replacement clone for James Brolin by agreeing on our Facebook page. You know it’s true.

Hello young lovers, wherever you are. We’ve got some tart little heart candies coming your way in audio form. First up, Christine and Emily reveal some of their favorite film romances, be they blooming brothers or silent robots. Next comes their very (or not) French accented discussion of 2004’s A Very Long Engagement, followed by the totally cheerful and upbeat feel-good love story that is 2010’s Blue Valentine. Oh wait, maybe they watched the wrong movie. To join in the conversation and to hear our secret reveals for our next episode (once the ladies figure out their extremely complicated Oscar bet plan) come hang out at our Facebook page or tweet us @femininepodcast. We can talk about Robin Williams advising Pete 30 Rock to strip search young women and everything!